I know that this is a bit of a controversial topic, in that lots of people have different thoughts on this subject – but here goes, this is my two cents for what it is worth!
As women, we often have a huge amount on our plates – juggling children, a partner, work, friends, community activities (eg. helping out at school or with sports) to name a few. Many have more things to juggle also such as volunteer work, acting as a carer, mentoring, managing staff, charity work and networking. And we are expected to do all of this whilst also running a household (shopping, cleaning, maintenance, and washing/ironing), cooking, being a perfect mother and partner, assisting with homework and being a taxi driver (OK – that does mean running around the kids!). And wait there’s more….. We also need to be fit, healthy and have time for personal grooming (hairdressers, beauty treatments and the like), the list is endless.
Reading the above, there is definitely an expectation for women to be ‘Super Woman’ but is this realistic? Are any of us really that ‘perfect’ for want of a better word, and do we indeed ‘have it all’?
My personal belief is that we most definitely can ‘have it all’ but not usually all at the same time. Sometimes, certain roles will be particularly more important than others, and at other times we shall have other items that require more attention and need to take priority.
The key is balance, it will never be 100% perfect but we can do the best we can, and that’s fine. Actually it’s more than fine!
It’s so important not to beat ourselves up if we don’t always get it right. Nobody’s perfect, and even though we do all have the same hours in a day (how often do you read this?!), it’s often hard to fit everything in. Some days are better than others, some days we shall shine and everything will seem perfect, other days may be a little more challenging.
I do firmly believe that each day we wake up and we have a choice – is it a good day or a bad day? Whatever we decide at that time, will usually be right!
It’s important to be mindful and live life in the present. There’s no point worrying about the past as we can’t change it and it’s great to plan for the future, but it’s also important to live in the moment and actually enjoy what is happening right now. Dreams and goals are important, really important, but don’t spend every moment planning or with your head in the clouds, enjoy and experience what is happening now.
Many people portray themselves to be ‘Super Woman’ but don’t believe everything you see, everything you read or everything that you hear. Most women have days where they don’t think they can get it all done and feel guilty that they can’t be in two places (or more) at once. This is totally fine, and normal!
So here are a few tips and suggestions to get the best out of every day and to assist your aim to be more balanced:
- Don’t be afraid to say ‘No’. It’s OK to sometimes decline or refuse to assist – you can’t always be everything to everyone.
- If you can afford to, hire a cleaner or someone to mow the lawns. Get help where you can, to free you up to spend important time with your loved ones.
- Schedule ‘me-time’. Block off half an hour or time to do things just for you, and write these blocks down in your diary, just as you would any other meeting or important item. Time for you is important and don’t feel guilty – you deserve time out and will feel more refreshed and relaxed, which your family will appreciate.
- Take deep breaths. Feeling stressed out? Stop and take a few deep breaths, to instantly calm you down which will allow you to regroup, make things clearer and easier to tackle.
- Do a healthy family activity, something you all enjoy so that it is quality time and something you will all appreciate. Keep it fun and light, celebrate your moments together.
So can we have it all?
We can certainly give it our best shot and as long as we are enjoying our life rather than constantly feeling tired, stressed and overwhelmed, then we are on the right track. Again, nobody’s perfect, that is a fact, but we can do the best we can, be the best we can be and enjoy all the different elements of our busy lives.